Scrolling through the documentary options as I geared down for a cozy cerebral night in front of YouTube and the one with this catchy title got my attention.
Firstly I am not sure why I wasn’t interviewed for this documentary with a title like The Perfect Vagina. Secondly, wow vagina shaming is a thing - but we probably all know it exists and just hardly ever talk about it right? Third, designer vagina?!
Certainly you remember a time when perhaps a part of your beautiful perfect body was not up to your own perfectionist scratch right? Hey but how about walking through life feeling that your vulva is not up to standards. Who’s standards?
Through our culture, many girls and women are being deceived into believing that their lady parts are anything but puuuurfect just the way they are. My heart goes out to these siSTARS who are experiencing concerns around this sacred area of the body.
Until c-sections, we all had to travel through a vagina to arrive safely here on planet earth and most of us still do. So it’s not fair that we as women and girls could be subjected to vulva shame when our parts are the very reason for EVERYONE’s existence.
We SHOULD be CELEBRATING all shapes and any size vagina, vulva, labia, body!
But life isn’t fair, so as intuitive and well women, we look for empowering solutions.
Before that, let’s understand the reasons this is happening.
Swimsuit advertising and porn are probably the main culprits. Swimsuit models and porn actresses are an indication of what women who work in those industries look like. They are not indicative of the general population of women. Both industries cater to fantasy and lack mentality. Fantasy is something that doesn’t happen in real life, at least not too often. Swimsuit models have strict regimes, and a team of professionals to help their bodies and the setting seem idyllic. Porn is a totally distorted fantasy catered on the superficial needs of men. Just because men watch it, it does not mean they expect their partners to look or act like professional porn actresses. (Do you expect your partner to act like a professional chef after you watch Jamie Oliver?) Women in both these industries are totally focused on their looks for generating an income, they resort to DRASTIC measures like labiaplasty and other plastic surgery to retain employment. So it’s unrealistic and disempowering to compare ourselves (ever) to women in these industries.
I once had my own yoni crisis - when I was in my early 20’s, still naive and in an emotionally abusive relationship. Suddenly I started having an abnormal vaginal discharge and odour. Mortified, clueless and no where to turn but the doctor, fortunately I was in the hands of someone caring and diagnosed with an UNHAPPY VAGINA. My partner was actually patient and understanding around this issue, but needless to say the solution was a breakup. I have never had that happen again, but it took years for me to regain my confidence.
OK so in a nut shell patriarchy is at the root cause of this disempowerment. But the great news is that as women we are completely in the drivers seat when it comes to reclaiming this lost part of ourselves. Moving beyond blame.
WHAT IS THE HIGHER BALANCE?
One word: INTUITIVE WELLNESS AND EMPOWERMENT!
It works for EVERYTHING.
OK, but what does that mean, actually?
It means you seek out your own guidance on the matter. Try and get over the taboo of talking about your genitals, think of it as like your arm or nose, not as something shameful to discuss, just a fact of life. Start by speaking to someone you trust that is grounded and inspirational.
Use YOUR brand of INTUITION to find out how you can get closer to making YOU feel more confident in who you are as a UNIQUE woman.
FOR ME THAT MEANT:
⫸ yoga and meditation
⫸ reading about inspirational women on their journey to empowerment
⫸ taking part in sacred feminine rites of passage with highly qualified practitioners; and
⫸ being part of a supportive circle of already empowered women who I could model off.
Another solution really is to ditch your unappreciative partner that compares your sacred portal to other women’s and seek out a MAN who completely respects and honours that all women are created different, unique and to be celebrated not shamed.
Check out the video The Perfect Vagina and get inspired by Lisa Rogers’ personal journey to understand this modern perfect vagina obsession.
If you have major concerns about the way any part of your body looks, feels or smells and want to talk about it first, find a friend, therapist or coach that will listen. Remember I am not a doctor, I am your friend.
Look after yourself
p.s. I’m running a 3 month transformational JOURNEY with 22 “committed to empowerment” women. Check it out, maybe you’re one of these 22 chickie babes?!