Secret #3 - What's really blocking you from achieving your health goals

Updated: Feb 5, 2021

Part 4 of 4....

Hello lovely and welcome to the busy&well blog, I'm Miriam Pires from Higher Balance as always banging on about Intuitive Wellness For Busy Professional Women.

This is the final article in my four part series around how to actually reach your health and well-being goals as a busy woman, juggling many things, being professional in every aspect of life except, probably, most likely…. your own self care and well-being!

Sound familiar?

I’ve been breaking down how How I [Finally] Reached My Health Goals By Reversing The Diet.

This is where I shatter you with why diets don’t work… it’s a chronological thing, we have it all backwards.

(Secretly I know you’re so over dieting and wickedly pleased!)

Then I start to reveal what to replace diets with in Secret #1 - My Silver Bullet to Health & Well-being (yes it is a magical sexy elixir for life - no kidding) followed by…

…. my Secret #2 - Base your entire health & well-being goals on this ONE THING and literally your entire perspective will change for the better.

So now we arrive at the golden ticket, the yellow brick road, my Secret #3.

This is THE SECRET WEAPON that kind of catapults all the other secrets I have shared…

….as well as opening up a new way of thinking for you that will give you personal power.

Power enough to eat what nourishes you, not what the hungry insatiable taste buds or repressed emotions want.

Power enough to eat what you want without guilt.

Power enough to no longer feel any shame around your body.

Why would you want that you say?

I mean you’re over there just here trying to…

….lose a couple of kilos, fit into that dress, tone up or get a high vibe diet?!



That’s what you think you’re after.

What you actually want is empowerment.

What it looks like to be young and empowered around your body - how cool!

Empowerment around food and your body.

To turn challenges around these areas of your life into opportunities.

Completely stop obsessing about your calorie intake, about how much you weigh on scales, about how much tighter your clothes are, about the cellulite forming and the stretch marks or the wrinkles.

To appreciate food for what it is; nourishment and friendship.

Love your own skin right now, not later. Like magically start appreciating yourself.

When you have personal power, you emanate confidence.

No one’s opinion of you will matter.

The fear around food and body disappears.

Imagine how much mental spaciousness and time you’d have by letting go of the fear of food, being on diets, all that prep time, doing this exercise or that one…

Just to keep up with the latest pulse in the health & well-being industry.

It’s exhausting.

No wonder you have no personal power left.

How could you when all that energy goes into not liking who you are and wanting so bad to be something else, that you line up the punishments like you lined up the tequila shots that time you were nineteen in Mexico!

When you feel the sense of your own internal power and you act from a place of empowerment these niggling life long issues and challenges with food and body melt away.

Yes, I said… they melt away!! :)

You wake up and one day a small yet relevant part of that pain is no longer there.

All those diets never did you a single favour, but here comes along personal power to save the day. Super cool!

You suddenly have more energy to devote to career or family or pleasure.

By focusing on the diet you lose yourself down the wrong path of getting where you want to go.

You can succeed, but the likelihood is that you will have to be hard on yourself, minus some life enjoyment, be irritable, and deal with the repercussions of failure over and over again as you try to perfect the diet ritual in pursuit of greater self love by getting the perfect body!

On the other hand you can travel down the path I have been laying out for you here in these last few blogs where the diet in fact comes last.

First things first #findyourslowflow then focus on self love and now the final secret I have for you which is all about personal power or as I like to call it…..

Embodying the Queen Energy

Yep that is my step #3 The Secret Weapon is to call upon that Queen within you and role play her out in all those challenging situations.

Uh! Miriam what has this got to do with the five kilos I have to lose so I can get into that dress for the wedding so I can impress my friends?

Yep well, if you were a Queen, you probably wouldn’t say that, exactly.

Let’s break this down.

What words come to you when you think about Queen Energy?

I’m guessing you’re saying things like:













When you come from a place of needing to look a certain way, eat a certain way etc for the benefit of others are you displaying any of these Queen-like qualities?

Let me tell you a little secret that often gets me in trouble because of the politically correct world we live in (whatever, we also have freedom of speech, right?!….).

Are you ready?

On our way to freedom and liberty as women we have forgotten how to create like a women.

We have spent all this time getting access to the masculine part of ourselves…. drive, ambition, goals, focus and strength.

Forgetting we can create with ease, grace, beauty, intention and above all love.

These qualities are much more like water than the fire of the masculine.

None better than the other, just opposite elements on the spectrum, both useful and indeed needed. But what I am pointing to is that we have gone the other way a little too much.

Bringing ourselves back into a higher balance with the feminine energy is a great place to start to remind ourselves of the power inherent in being a women.

It’s not in the flatness of our stomach, the gap of our thigh or the plumpness of our lips.

It is in the sincerity of our eyes and truth spoken with our lips, in the softness of our openness to receive and in the beauty of our grounded-ness our connection to loved ones and ultimately self.

You may want to deny it, but these qualities are feminine, yin, and yet they can be present in men too, the feminine aspect of men.

I didn’t create this reality, I can only comment on what I see and if you know me you know I talk straight. Not in circles for the benefit of every political party that ever existed - my diplomatic corporate days are over.

All this femininity ties in with Queen Energy beautifully.

The Queen Energy is an archetype, she applies to all and is one that asks us to mature gracefully, to own the skin we are in, to be a woman who does not look outside herself for validation, to be the women who shows up for Life.

I know it sounds crazy, to ditch diets (for the moment anyway) and focus instead on slowing down with just one area of life, then focusing on self love and then embodying more Queen Energy before you even remotely think about a diet….

But seriously if the diets worked they would have by now.

And I’m all I’m suggesting here is that you flip the equation.

Diet and food restriction = love the body you’re in


Love the body you’re in = lifestyle changes come naturally aka you will find the diet that is right for you with self love not self hate.

Are you getting this?

Great, but I know you’re a busy professional woman and you’re asking….

… does the Queen Energy actually play out in a practical way?

Because I have after all called this article: What’s Really Blocking You From Achieving Your Health Goals.

Reason being is that when you elevate your game from focusing on food and body to focusing on showing up as the Queen within you have nailed what only 5% of the female population nail.

Most women obsess insecurely about their looks until they are too old to care.

What if you obsessed with doing great work in the world?

Being kind or expanding your love capacity.

Or healing old outdated wounds that hold you back in life.

With experiencing joy?

What if you obsessed about being generous with your energy and getting deeper connections to others?

What if you obsessed into relaxing into who you really are?

When you focus your attention not on getting validated with outside influences but on becoming the woman you are proud to be, other shifts start to happen.

You make decisions from a new place.

You trust yourself.

You grow.

And yes, crazy as it seems, you often lose weight or your body shape shifts into what it’s actually meant to be.

I call it weight normalisation.

As it no longer has the need to hold fat as protection it can often fall off naturally, but holding this as the goal, is already losing the Queen Energy.

Stay with the higher goals you have for yourself.

It’s totally fun to be embodying the Queen, or practicing to be the Queen in your own life.

And it’s all an experiment anyway.

This is something you can try on for a month or two and see what happened.

Compare the results to how you feel about yourself if you were still operating the old way, on a diet or exercising regime you didn’t like etc.

The Queen eats with pleasure, she moves in the ways she desires to move, she does the things she really wants to do and is present with those she wants to be with.

When you operate from your inner Queen Energy you are moving towards your own empowerment and life looks very different from this vantage point.

Now one thing that I haven’t touched on is if you’re not operating from your Queen what are you operating from?

It’s called the Princess.

No this is not a derogatory term, it only means that you’re needing constant outside validation, attention, confirmation and yeah you need the world to tell you you’re beautiful, pretty, loved, admired and safe.

There is nothing wrong with that.

In fact, let’s face it, most of us do not grow up with this kind of positive reinforcement.

It’s what we are supposed to be exposed to in order to be healthy, functioning Queens later in life but sadly, we’re not raised by Queens (or Kings - but that is another story).

So we get stuck in princess even at the age of 50 or 60!

However, we are lucky to live in such a time when we know 'this information' and can shift things for ourselves!

So, if you’re under 35 I would say you are still in the Princess phase of your life.

Therefore ensure you are surrounded by people that do validate you.

Make certain that those in your immediate circle know your worth, acknowledge you and give you encouragement.

Don’t be afraid to let them know how you want to be seen and heard.

When we start to hit over 35 we are entering the Queen phase of life.

By 40 we are in Queen realms and by 50 we should be embodying Queen Energy one hundred percent.

So, that means not needing much if any external hand clapping over who we are or what we do, yet we can graciously accept compliments.

The difference is we don’t need them, like we desperately do when we are younger.

We know our true worth.

As you can appreciate this is a deep deep topic of exploration for any woman, and my role as an Eating Psychology Coach and Intuitive Women’s Health Mentor, is to help guide women back to the wellspring of their own wisdom so they can blossom into the Queen or relax in to the Princess phase of life.

It’s absolutely exciting transformational work.

Like any mountain, worth the view at the top.

This work has the power to normalise weight, auto-correct poor eating patterns, dissolve emotional baggage and clarify a positive way forward.

This is a coming of age.
This is a rite of passage.

It’s so missing in our western culture.

We have lost the art of wising up to the joys of maturing, or becoming an elder and of gracefully accepting the process of owning our shit, including wrinkles.

But you have the potential to transform your persistent unwanted eating, food, body, mind and soul challenges using these much more sacred tactics….

…. than a bleeping diet.

You are so much more than that.

You truly are a Queen.

If you could see yourself through my eyes you would know it.

You would embrace yourself in a whole new way and experience living, maybe for the first real time.

I know these are bold claims but I am living proof, a thinner body never made me happier, it never got or kept the guy of my dreams and it didn’t get me the promotion, more money or better opportunities in life.

What gave me those things was finally being confident enough to be me, as I am, no care about anyone else’s expectations or demands of me.

Imagine living life like that.

Outside of the struggle of 'needing to', 'should have'….

Breathe out on that one…. {SIGH} Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Instead living from spontaneity, flow, spiritual alignment, inner peace and clarity.

And again {SIGH} Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

If you want to find out more about this journey, make an appointment to speak with me, it’s completely free, no obligation.

x Miriam

p.s. want to work with me but feeling time strapped?

Take the 14 Day Binge Liberation Online Journey and get all my founding principles to achieve weight normalisation so that you can finally end dieting forever, using a self study audio program!